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#106097 - 02/27/21 08:30 AM Looks Like This Forum Will Die (And I Am Sorry About That)
Fluffi Online   misdoubt-icon
Short-Arsed Git
***

Registered: 05/26/10
Posts: 706
Loc: England... Then Left A Bit
OK,

So now comes the parting of the ways...

I have argued with you people since the days of Stratics OT, but I never knew whether you actually believed what you saying, or where just trolling to get internet kudos: So, lets have a final "THIS REALLY IS ME" thread so I can admire the folk I have debated fot the last 10 years....

GO ON - I FUCKING DARE YOU...



I am happy to go first:

Born in 1962.
Dad - a WW2 Chindit - he was the reason I joined our military.
Mum - one of the 72 / 76, (estimates vary), survivors of Treblinka - she is why I am "Jewish", and why myself & my sister, and all our children have a number tattoed on their wrists.
1980 - Joined the Royal Marines. Passed-out into 45CDO.
1982 - Survived selection into SBS.
1982 - Went to war in defence of some islands I had never heard of. Did things I don't like to talk about.
1982 - Got 2 bayonet wounds at Mt Longdon.
1982 - Took the ship home. Met by anti-war protestors spitting at me at the docks. Had to pull very-pregant wife off of my attackers.
1983 - Crawled into a bottle because wife & daughter killed by drunk driver.
1983 - Honourable discharge from military due to above.
1983 - Court case for "throwing drunk driver off a tower block" Not guilty, due to the number of people who said I was with them at the time.
1984 - Joined NHS. Got degree / masters / professional qualifications in medical microbiology.
1994 - Gave up on NHS due to poor pay, and went to work for a friends IT company.
2021 - Still there. Happy living with the new "Mrs Fluffi" and her diabetic-alert service dog, and my RM-sponsored PTSD service dog, and the rest of our pets.


Anybody want to reply with such honesty??

Fluffi.
_________________________

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#106098 - 03/02/21 07:12 PM Re: Looks Like This Forum Will Die (And I Am Sorry About That) [Re: Fluffi]
Shelzin Offline
old hand

Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 837
I don't need or desire your admiration. The dare also means next to nothing to me.

If you want to know something... Ask. I'll answer truthfully, although there are of course questions I won't answer as completely as you may like.

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#106099 - 03/04/21 01:22 AM Re: Looks Like This Forum Will Die (And I Am Sorry About That) [Re: Fluffi]
Drakken Payne Offline
Mostly Harmless
****

Registered: 05/25/10
Posts: 4239
Why not?

Born 1972

Dad - never laid eyes on him until I was 17. Got to know him a bit over the years before he passes away due to complications of lung cancer in 2008 (I think).

Mom - raised my younger half-sister and myself largely on her own. She's still kicking although she has started to slow down some as she enters her 7th decade.

From 1991 to 1995 I worked in fast food. in 1995 I went in the army and was injured during basic/AIT and sent home. Became a "mixologist." Moved to ATL in '96 and worked various bars/clubs during the Olympics. Came back home to Arkansas at the end of '96 and got into retail. I've worked in pretty much every field that you can do without some sort of formal training at one point or another. In 2000 I went to work as a bouncer at a strip club, also bartended and DJ'd as well as manager.

In 2003 I enrolled in college. That didn't last very long as "real life" got in the way. 2004 I moved to Washington DC with my girlfriend at the time. That also did not last very long and the whole thing helped lead to an attempted suicide.

Made it through all of that and in 2005 I went to work in pipeline construction. I did that for about 9 years. An injury in 2012 slowed me down and a DWI helped end that line of work.

Various health issues since 2015 or so including stroke level high blood pressure and atrial fibrillation have pretty much kicked my ass, but it's all under control now.

Started back to school in 2019 in pursuit of an associates degree in networking. I have to be honest, I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time, but I'm passing so far.

Oh, and I gave up drinking. Not really because I wanted to, but because it was fucking with my heart...so...yeah.

And here we are.
_________________________
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra

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#106100 - 03/04/21 06:09 AM Re: Looks Like This Forum Will Die (And I Am Sorry About That) [Re: Fluffi]
Aran Offline
Aryan Dreamboat
**

Registered: 05/25/10
Posts: 4218
I don't really like to talk about myself

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#106101 - 03/04/21 03:59 PM Re: Looks Like This Forum Will Die (And I Am Sorry About That) [Re: Shelzin]
Fluffi Online   misdoubt-icon
Short-Arsed Git
***

Registered: 05/26/10
Posts: 706
Loc: England... Then Left A Bit
My words "dare" & "admiration" were just word-salad; and you have always given me the impression that you were intelligent enough to understand them for just that.

My first post on this forum was over 11 years ago, and I, along with many of you migrated here from Stratics OT, where we had conversed previously.

I just want to know a little about who I have been talking to.

I know my "real-life" friends of 14 / 15 years very well; but I know nothing about you people except the opinions you have expressed in threads ranging from "childhood memories", to "musical taste" to "favourite movies" to "my favourite bondage outfit" to "why is your posting name XXX" to "you guys helping me with my new DSLR camera", and through "local politics" / "international politics" / "global affairs" to "people with guns"


I don't want to know your name.
I don't want to know your gender / sexual preferences / marital staus / ZIP code....
I just would like to know the processes in your life that bought you to the place you are now.


Maybe I have been more open than you are prepared to be, and that is perfectly cool, but go on...

Tell me WHY Zin is Zin.


(Sorry if you find this overly intrusive.)
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#106102 - 03/04/21 04:00 PM Re: Looks Like This Forum Will Die (And I Am Sorry About That) [Re: Drakken Payne]
Fluffi Online   misdoubt-icon
Short-Arsed Git
***

Registered: 05/26/10
Posts: 706
Loc: England... Then Left A Bit
Thank You !
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#106103 - 03/04/21 04:29 PM Re: Looks Like This Forum Will Die (And I Am Sorry About That) [Re: Aran]
Fluffi Online   misdoubt-icon
Short-Arsed Git
***

Registered: 05/26/10
Posts: 706
Loc: England... Then Left A Bit
This is a genuine question, so please accept it a such.

Why not talk about yourself?


I am a truly fucked-up individual.

I am borderline alcoholic (as self-medication for the nightmares.)
I re-fight Mt Longdon at least once a month in my dreams. Mrs Fluffi knows the symptoms, and gets out of bed and throws things at me until I wake up. The first time I nightmared with her, she just shook me awake saying "are you OK honey" I came-to, straddling her, with my thumbs in her eyes.
I don't leave the house without Gwyn (my service dog), because I am genuinely afraid that I will hurt someone who invades my space, and it is her job to get between me and an "attacker". If I answer the door for an Amazon delivery, she is ALWAYS between me and the driver.


I understand your reticence, but what could you say about youself that would be worse / more embarrassing than what I have just written.

Please, tell me what made Aran, so I understand you better.
We will never be mates, but I have enjoyed arguing with you, and I would like to know how you got to where you are.
_________________________

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#106104 - 03/05/21 12:31 AM Re: Looks Like This Forum Will Die (And I Am Sorry About That) [Re: Fluffi]
Shelzin Offline
old hand

Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 837
Originally Posted By: Fluffi
Tell me WHY Zin is Zin.

THAT was a brilliant move. Well played, it made me smile.


Quote:
(Sorry if you find this overly intrusive.)

Born in 1977... Taurus.

I have memories of when I was three... Like ten second movie clips in my mind... My parents, fighting about who's turn it was to watch me so the other could go out with friends... My father holding my mother down on the ground holding pinning her hands, her saying "'His name' you're hurting me." and sobs. My father looking me in the eye while holding her and telling me to go to my room. I go there, and see this blanket of an bald eagle... It's colored light brown, and very soft and warm. He still has that blanket. I hate that blanket. I hate that I had no feelings about what happened looking back at it. I hate bullies.

My mother has never said a bad word about my father to me my entire life. It took decades for me to realize just how special that was.

I remember the bus ride to Oregon that must have happened shortly after that first memory. I have no idea where in Oregon, nor at the time did I know it was actually Oregon... Just that the bus we were on smelled funny, and I liked the cool-aid in the baby food jars my mother gave me. I remember looking out the bus window and seeing the road was VERY high up. It must have been a single lane road, because I was on the drivers side looking down.

I remember while taking a bath at our new home someone reached through the window... There was no screen, just a window that was open... A hand, with a pure white glove grabbed me. I screamed. Many people ran in the bathroom, asking me what's wrong... I don't remember saying any real words... Just pointing at the window and crying. I had nightmares about a white floating glove tapping me on the shoulder while peeing into a toilet for years after that. It never actually did anything scary, it actually looked like it was trying to be clownish and funny... But I was terrified of it, I screamed every time. I don't take baths unless it's in a pond or river, if you consider that a bath.

I don't know when we came back to my home state of Iowa... Only that I was four or five because I wasn't in kindergarten yet. My mother having had another child, but not by my father but we shared a same last name... Met a man with four other kids. I gained three older step brothers and a older step sister very quickly. My mother and step-father almost called it quits several times over the bruises I received from my new found family. If it wasn't for my youngest half blood brother who was raised completely by this man, who isn't his biologically but he absolutely loved beyond any shadow of doubt, I believe he would have let us go and not fought so hard to keep what he had intact.

But... I was a very shy kid, and yet prone to outburst. I was picked on, and when I got angry enough I attacked back. I never won in those days. To them, it was funny. Both parents, at the time the only ones I listened to the biological ones, made sure I knew never to start fights... Only to finish them.

I cried a lot at school. I couldn't attack. So I cried at my frustrations. I did this years longer than most children. I remember one of my teachers telling another in second or third grade saying they should have held me back a year... I wasn't emotionally ready. I was the youngest in the class. I don't remember the test they gave me, but as I understand things it was to get me to drop a grade. Ended up putting me in a TAG class... "Talented and Gifted"... Evidently skipping a year or two was out of the question, the reason for it was because I was "emotionally unstable" ( My words, they used different terminology but for the life of me I can't remember it ) for my age group and I refused to do school work I found boring. So they assumed I couldn't do it. I still find it incredibly stupid that if I get "A's" and "B's" on your tests why the fuck does it matter if I do the work to show I understand before the test. I obviously understand you ... blah...

I got an hour a day to learn whatever the hell I wanted to for a couple years with three, sometimes four, other classmates who were clearly smarter than everyone else around them. At least one of them was my age, and everyone knew HE was smart. I was the oddball that was smart, and still went to a speech impediment teacher out in the hall because I had a hard time with "R's"... Then it was my peers trying to figure out if I was a "smarty" or a "dummy" based on when I left class and with which kids. *laughs* I guess I didn't really know either.

Around forth grade... Back then my older brothers played football, teenagers now, so that's what we did in the back yard during the warm months. I was light weight and skinny as a rail, but fearless in contact sports. They already beat the hell out of me sometimes, it's not like I thought they could hurt me more than that. I was a very fast runner, with a high endurance. For some reason this impressed the most popular kid in my class, and he went out of his way to say he liked me. I don't know why he did that... We were never really "friends"... But I was an outsider with these people who I have literally known my whole school career in a class of no more than 40. I finally grasped what it was to engage with people my own age.

It's also when I started becoming a bully myself. Picking on people that laughed with me, became somewhat of a pet peeve of mine. So I started bulling the class bullies. Only really two of them, not counting the one that talked them into doing it. When I finally understood who I really needed to talk to, things calmed down pretty quickly. Two of the three became very good friends after that years later. Good people.

Fifth grade... I became the class clown. Or at least another one at any rate. I had to do something, I was bored. TAG classes only lasted in the early years, I don't know if they got rid of it, or it was only available to younger students. But nobody I knew went to them anymore.

7th-8th grade my brothers have all graduated. Puberty hits... I've figured out how to talk to people, figured out I like girls, and my brothers who used to beat the shit out of me I now all of a sudden like. They would tell my mother what we were going to do on the weekends. Which for them was get drunk at their apartment with their other friends. Evidently I'm hilarious when I'm drunk. Life of the party. Summer comes around and all my friends are four plus years older than me. I'm doing things way above my weight class. With WOMEN. Make no mistake... I'm really a fuck'n geek. I over think shit like nobodies business... I know I like natures cocaine also known as sex. Hard to find good books on the subject back then. So I get some on massage, anything to be able to learn how to touch someone and make them feel good... Learn about pelvic floor exercises, from somewhere... Connect the dots that men can do them too in a way. All men should do it frankly... Women too *IF* their man does it. It makes it go from feeling good to fuck'n magical.

I'm doing this every other weekend for the most part, and my mother god love her is letting me do it because at least she knows where I am. "He'll do it where I'll know where he'll be, or he'll do it behind my back"... My mother was fuck'n SMART when it came to people. Certainly me.

I find a young but very experienced lass to talk to... Learn from... She actually knows what she wants. At the time I had no real idea how important that is in sex... But she knows, and is willing to share that... Verbally. Tell me what you want, I'll do it. I wish I would have known at the time that the same things didn't work on all women, it wouldn't have lasted as long as it did if I had...

That last bit.. That is VERY defining for my life... See... I got what I wanted out of relationships, without actually having said relationships. Not really. Outside of high school the longest I've ever been with someone is 8 months. I got what I wanted from people based on skills learned in the bedroom. I never really had to give up anything... Women came to ME, I didn't work at it, not really. All my peers... Married.. With kids. All my ex's... I'm still friends with except one. Because it was based on sex. Not a true relationship. I never needed one. I'm a introvert. Now I'm forty something (three?) and never been married. No kids. No real significant other. I'm not lonely... Again, I'm a introvert. But I'm also not fulfilled.

And that's me skipping so much that I find less important... Like I was a thief. I a very good one. Shit I was doing cost money... In order to sleep at night I had to read after the brothers left and I had no one to wear me out physically... I stole a lot of shit, I have a room full of books I never paid for. I in a very real way robbed banks through ATM's as a teenager to pay for the parties I hosted when the brothers didn't have it. IN a very real way I'm almost happy my parents were too poor to buy me a computer when the internet came out. I might still be in prison trying to find a way to make money off of that in ... Less than legal ways.

Hell... When Dishes first came out I was reprogramming cards so we would get all the channels. Although that's technically not illegal. It's in the air, if I can decode it then it's fine. Although it should be noted that's why you rent their equipment rather than buy it now.

*ponders*

There are so many details I'm skipping over to what makes Zin... Zin... But then... I'm not really sure how important any of those are by themselves. I'm done. That's what you get.

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#106105 - 03/05/21 12:25 PM Re: Looks Like This Forum Will Die (And I Am Sorry About That) [Re: Fluffi]
Aran Offline
Aryan Dreamboat
**

Registered: 05/25/10
Posts: 4218
Originally Posted By: Fluffi
This is a genuine question, so please accept it a such.

Why not talk about yourself?


I am a truly fucked-up individual.

I am borderline alcoholic (as self-medication for the nightmares.)
I re-fight Mt Longdon at least once a month in my dreams. Mrs Fluffi knows the symptoms, and gets out of bed and throws things at me until I wake up. The first time I nightmared with her, she just shook me awake saying "are you OK honey" I came-to, straddling her, with my thumbs in her eyes.
I don't leave the house without Gwyn (my service dog), because I am genuinely afraid that I will hurt someone who invades my space, and it is her job to get between me and an "attacker". If I answer the door for an Amazon delivery, she is ALWAYS between me and the driver.


I understand your reticence, but what could you say about youself that would be worse / more embarrassing than what I have just written.

Please, tell me what made Aran, so I understand you better.
We will never be mates, but I have enjoyed arguing with you, and I would like to know how you got to where you are.


No see that was a joke, all I do is talk about myself, like 24/7.

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#106106 - 03/06/21 06:41 AM Re: Looks Like This Forum Will Die (And I Am Sorry About That) [Re: Shelzin]
Fluffi Online   misdoubt-icon
Short-Arsed Git
***

Registered: 05/26/10
Posts: 706
Loc: England... Then Left A Bit
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR HONESTY.


Maybe I am just gullible, but that appeared to be written from the heart.

I am certainly NOT accusing you of this, but if that was just "made-up crap to satisfy some random cunt on the internet", then I say that you did it very well.


I hope that you found writing that as cathartic as I found relating my story to completely random strangers.
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